Black Hole CD’s
by Susie Vanderlip, CSP

There are a handful of malevolent CD players that lurk in older conference centers and school facilities. They look just like their hospitable, functioning brothers and sisters, so they are impossible to identify by looks. But, oh, they are sitting in wait for the next naive speaker to come to town!

I was on stage in front of 3,500 teens at a major convention center. A fabulous, carefully planned program was in progress with video screens, Power Point slide shows, numerous participants flowing on and off stage working from a precisely timed script. And now my turn to tune-up the crowd, be a part of this magnificent teen conference. My opening music peeled loudly over one of the best speaker systems I have had the joy of working with. Through my opening dance bit, into my timed silent CD cut and speaking section, and ready to jump into Cut 3 for a dance segue and…once again, nothing! I stalled. I improvised. Then I knew. There wasn’t going to be any more music because the CD player was not recognizing the silence as a single cut on the CD, rather, as the end of the CD!

I'd heard of these "Black Hole" CD players, and now the monster confronted me head on. I knew what I had to do. I kept my speech going, which was actually a dramatic characterization, so I spoke to the sound tech from the stage as the character. The character demanded her music. She got mad that someone had broken her CD player, she pointed fingers at the sound tech, and finally, he realized this isn’t part of the act! He hand-advanced the CD, missed the proper cut, but didn’t know it. The character got irritated again (which was congruent with the character, thank Heavens!). The sound tech went back a cut. The proper music came on. I danced, I segued, I took on the next character in my show. Now this character, in character, cajoled the sound tech, "Honey, I need you to help me. Baby, pleassse, I want my music…" The sound tech took the cue, advanced to the proper cut, and the next dance proceeded.

Together, the sound tech and my characters advanced through 4 more such sound cues. And the audience never knew the difference!

The Lessons: The audience will buy whatever we give them if we stay cool and in control of the stage. That’s our job. Make it seem seamless and enjoy the "bumps", they keep us on our toes! (In addition, I now arrive 1½ hours early to every gig to work first and foremost with the sound tech, testing every microphone, back-up microphone, and CD player through numerous paces. Not one test, but six: First time, test that my wireless lavaliere microphone and the backup microphone work.Second, test that the CD player runs through enough tracks to assure it isn’t a Black Hole monster.Third, test that the lavaliere microphone still works after setting sound for the CD player and the back-up microphone. Fourth, walk the entire performance area to identify any feedback or poor reception areas to avoid. Fifth, 10 minutes before show time turn on the lavaliere microphone and make sure sound is still coming out. Sixth, 2 minutes before show time, retest the lavaliere microphone to know if all is still working or if I need to grab the backup handheld microphone as soon as I take the stage.

I bring 2 CD’s of my show in case one breaks. I also bring the show on 2 audio tapes in case the CD player is a monster with no backup. And still, I expect that sound may go wrong, and look at "winging it" as God’s way of keeping me humble and forever grateful when, after a program, I find I was given the privilege of deeply touching a few minds and souls.